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The Weekend Album

by Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures

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1.
Sweet Relief 02:24
I have got this thing I have worked it through I have nothing else to do each angle covered each corner locked unhelpful messages have been blocked all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put me back together again this was something I had to do myself hang the picture put up the shelf sweet relief sweet refrain a momentary pause in pain no more judgements no more distain you’ve dug yourself another lane I don’t mind the weather I don’t mind the commute I found the town that fits like good looking suit get out now if you don’t like the music I got no time for folks who refuse it
2.
Drifting typewriter starts on the cobbles the ladies all gasp at the caravan handkerchiefs waving and bells in the air bustling market with meats in a can doth of the cap to the undertaker bristling moustaches on bended knee cafe tables filled with berets and here we’re not very far from the sea I don’t think you’ve got a single clue nobody ask about you and if they did I’d say who you really can’t say you’ve got it made till your shirt sleeves are rolled and you own your very own spade and you’ve dug up the garden and winked at the sun until then we’re all just on the run hurry gurdy warden one too many ales the organ grinder invested wisely and the monkey went travelling to the south of france I’m so glad you’re staying close beside me dirty cups in the sink, their own terrain bin man got a tip on the horses startled news anchor by late breaking events this teacher’s teaching one too many courses I don’t think it’s the right way to go this path is littered with memories and way too slow you really can’t say you’ve got it right till it feels like home in the middle of the night and you’ve opened the curtains and winked at the sun until then we’re all just having fun
3.
The Incident 02:19
don’t hold your cards so close to your chest don’t take offence at a different opinion most of us are just trying to get through this mess without bumping into the furniture or bringing down the curtain too soon you lost a friend and what did you gain some high ground and egotistical value I can’t believe you didn’t see there was pain shipwrecked me in the city well how’d you do that of course I forgive it, life’s too short I even congratulated you on your news but there’s been no response, no kind of retort I’m guessing you still have the blues about something All I did was say that you can’t buy into the lie you can’t put all of your eggs in one basket life is what you alone make it and it quickly flies by and if you don’t like the answer to the question don’t ask it I hope one day we look back and laugh at that moment but somehow sadly I doubt it living with only one immovable belief is not good and I think you should do something about it but what do I know… I’m writing an album in a weekend
4.
This Place 03:16
this place this place is hard to get to this place is tucked away this place isn’t on gps this place isn’t open every day this place is a labyrinth this place is often cold this place has rooms I’ve never been in this place feels very old this place has been a home this place has been prison this place has been vandalised this place has been foreclosed on this place is likely haunted this place is mostly dark this place you have to feel your way through this place is my heart
5.
Hold up the torch light down in the cave when you’re looking for buried treasure and don’t worry about what you can’t see they’ll leave you alone if you just let them be grab what you can from the ancient casket and run out into the daylight and don’t worry about what’s behind you don’t stop for a moment whatever you do and don’t worry I can run for miles I’ve heard that up ahead there’s a diner and there’s nowhere you can’t go with wind in your sails and right here there’s nowhere finer when you’re trapped in the bazaar cornered by swordsmen and your damsel is in distress fight for all your worth with whatever’s to hand never think about the fact you’re outgunned and outmanned and don’t worry I can fight for hours I think I’m on the winning side and yes there’s still more clues out there for me to find I’ll embrace the adventure rolling in with a new tide
6.
it don’t take much to please me baby I ain’t asking a lot just like to watch all sorts of movies with a big bowl of snacks and some tea in the pot it don’t take much to make me happy I ain’t a picky man like to travel and like New York City and going out to diners whenever we can I don’t know why it’s been so hard I don’t know why you think I’m a troubled soul I’ll do your dishes and I’ll clean your carpet if you just hold my hand till we get old it don’t take much to put a smile on my face I’m a simple guy just like dive bars and old blues juke boxes and long walks, Tom Waits, baseball, beards, podcasting, comedy, album making, bad clothes, movie collecting, honesty, dancing and a good meat pie! I don’t know why it’s been so hard the reasons are probably many but I will entertain your friends and cut my toenails in the bathroom if you wrap your arms around me on the staten island ferry
7.
Again 04:01
Marty broke his promise over your head better meet up for drinks instead the service is good and the atmosphere is rare but it’s small and you stand out, when you’re in there and I don’t think I will be running home again Now he’s in the village and he’s night time bound another hero died today and we lost another sound there’s a nip in this new york air, so rub your hands together one more rejection on the corner, it’ll get worse before it gets better and I don’t think I will be standing here again and in this cold water they are splashing about as if someone turned the lights out and in the darkness there’s nothing to do but to keep on holding on to you down in the subway there’s a delicate balance the sinister the smart and the silly are accepting the challenge and in the wings the stage hand screams silently when everything’s gone but the world carries on, don’t come crying to me and I don’t think I want to hear from you again and up in space the vehicles sing a song as if someone turned the lights on and on this bright morning there’s nothing to do but breathe in and start the day brand new
8.
with your long hair and your big beard you’re bringing the company down boy you’re bringing the company down with your opinions and your attitude you’re bringing the company down boy you’re bringing the company down We need a team player We need a taste maker someone who tows the line We need a good faker with your cheap clothes and your big nose you’re bringing the company down boy you’re bringing the company down with your logical ideas and lack of fear you’re bringing the company down boy you’re bringing the company down We need a non thinker We need a yes man someone who keeps their mouth shut we need a meeting plan Company men don’t grow on trees They got weak chins and weaker knees their tie matches exactly with their shirt they’ll step on your neck while their dishing the dirt and we’re so sorry boy that just ain’t you you bring this company down with all the things you do Boy
9.
They say no news is good news well we haven’t had news now for years all we’ve got is the jowly and the ignorant trying to further their million dollar careers I knew a man he moved to Indiana to open up a pet store on the outskirts of town his wife and children left him, taking his favourite plates but that man I knew he never wore a frown He really likes pets and I wish I could be just like him yeah I wish I could be just like him Old Binkie Muffins ran racket for the greeks got them free tennis equipment in exchange for food he’s dead now and they still smash crockery at his grave side and it always puts them all in a good mood they hate crockery and I wish we could all be like them Yeah I wish we could all be like them but the water’s slowly rising all the animals are dying we should be eating vegetables but we’re all deep fat frying but honestly that tastes better and I’ll be dead long before it gets too bad so shut up your wining and eat a big fat cake that will never ever make you feel sad I knew a lady she had lots of hats to wear and could never choose which one to put on then she lost them all in a fire and decided to travel the world she didn’t even care any more that they were gone It freed her up to go travelling and I wish we could all be just liker her Yeah I wish I could be just like her
10.
Thank You 03:44
I couldn’t have done it without you Thank You Thank You I couldn’t have done it without you all by my side The hardest thing I’ve ever done I couldn’t so alone it’s been one hell of a ride So now if you ever need some help at all You don’t have to go far to find me whatever it is well you know who to call we’ll find a solution wait and see… Thank You Thank You Thank You Yeah thank you very much you bloody great bunch of folks you saved this poor old urchin every time he needed and cheered him up with your dirty jokes ahhh Thank you thank you thank you I don’t know what to say but my great old aunty nora’s really chuffed she thought she’d have to take me in and feed me every day but she’s thankful because her offer was a bluff My old uncle ken he’s never had a friend he likes to keep weasels in his pants and when those weasels nibble on the end of his how’s your father it makes my uncle kenny do a dance it’s the dance I do right now to thank you very much to tell you that you’ve all been really great so never suffer alone, I am always here to help share whatever’s on your plate Me ol China!

about

This album was written and recorded entirely in 48hrs from scratch. I had no lyrics, no song ideas, no nothing! I just wanted to do it and so I got up on Saturday March 21st 2015 and just did it. 5 Songs a day. I am really happy with the results.

credits

released March 23, 2015

Written, performed and produced by Jon Cross of Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures.

Copyright Om/No Productions Music 2015

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Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures New Milford, Connecticut

Songwriting and banging your instruments together

The main thing I love to do is write songs. I pick up various instruments from ukulele to piano, accordion to percussion and electric guitar to harmonica and bang them about to try and get close to the noises I hear in my head but the writing comes first. ... more

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