The Weekend Album

by Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures



This album was written and recorded entirely in 48hrs from scratch. I had no lyrics, no song ideas, no nothing! I just wanted to do it and so I got up on Saturday March 21st 2015 and just did it. 5 Songs a day. I am really happy with the results.


released March 23, 2015

Written, performed and produced by Jon Cross of Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures.

Copyright Om/No Productions Music 2015



all rights reserved
Track Name: Sweet Relief
I have got this thing
I have worked it through
I have nothing else to do
each angle covered
each corner locked
unhelpful messages have been blocked

all the kings horses
and all the kings men
couldn’t put me back together again
this was something I had to do myself
hang the picture
put up the shelf

sweet relief
sweet refrain
a momentary pause
in pain
no more judgements
no more distain
you’ve dug yourself
another lane

I don’t mind the weather
I don’t mind the commute
I found the town that fits like good looking suit
get out now if you don’t like the music
I got no time for folks who refuse it
Track Name: Winked at the Sun
Drifting typewriter starts on the cobbles
the ladies all gasp at the caravan
handkerchiefs waving and bells in the air
bustling market with meats in a can

doth of the cap to the undertaker
bristling moustaches on bended knee
cafe tables filled with berets
and here we’re not very far from the sea

I don’t think you’ve got a single clue
nobody ask about you and if they did I’d say who
you really can’t say you’ve got it made
till your shirt sleeves are rolled and you own your very own spade
and you’ve dug up the garden and winked at the sun
until then we’re all just on the run

hurry gurdy warden one too many ales
the organ grinder invested wisely
and the monkey went travelling to the south of france
I’m so glad you’re staying close beside me

dirty cups in the sink, their own terrain
bin man got a tip on the horses
startled news anchor by late breaking events
this teacher’s teaching one too many courses

I don’t think it’s the right way to go
this path is littered with memories and way too slow
you really can’t say you’ve got it right
till it feels like home in the middle of the night
and you’ve opened the curtains and winked at the sun
until then we’re all just having fun
Track Name: The Incident
don’t hold your cards so close to your chest
don’t take offence at a different opinion
most of us are just trying to get through this mess
without bumping into the furniture or bringing down the curtain
too soon

you lost a friend and what did you gain
some high ground and egotistical value
I can’t believe you didn’t see there was pain
shipwrecked me in the city well how’d you
do that

of course I forgive it, life’s too short
I even congratulated you on your news
but there’s been no response, no kind of retort
I’m guessing you still have the blues about something

All I did was say that you can’t buy into the lie
you can’t put all of your eggs in one basket
life is what you alone make it and it quickly flies by
and if you don’t like the answer to the question don’t ask it

I hope one day we look back and laugh at that moment
but somehow sadly I doubt it
living with only one immovable belief is not good
and I think you should do something about it

but what do I know…
I’m writing an album in a weekend
Track Name: This Place
this place
this place is hard to get to
this place is tucked away
this place isn’t on gps
this place isn’t open every day

this place is a labyrinth
this place is often cold
this place has rooms I’ve never been in
this place feels very old

this place has been a home
this place has been prison
this place has been vandalised
this place has been foreclosed on

this place is likely haunted
this place is mostly dark
this place you have to feel your way through
this place is my heart
Track Name: The Salvation of the Gentleman Explorer
Hold up the torch light down in the cave
when you’re looking for buried treasure
and don’t worry about what you can’t see
they’ll leave you alone if you just let them be

grab what you can from the ancient casket
and run out into the daylight
and don’t worry about what’s behind you
don’t stop for a moment whatever you do

and don’t worry I can run for miles
I’ve heard that up ahead there’s a diner
and there’s nowhere you can’t go with wind in your sails
and right here there’s nowhere finer

when you’re trapped in the bazaar cornered by swordsmen
and your damsel is in distress
fight for all your worth with whatever’s to hand
never think about the fact you’re outgunned and outmanned

and don’t worry I can fight for hours
I think I’m on the winning side
and yes there’s still more clues out there for me to find
I’ll embrace the adventure rolling in with a new tide
Track Name: It Don't Take Much
it don’t take much to please me baby
I ain’t asking a lot
just like to watch all sorts of movies
with a big bowl of snacks and some tea in the pot

it don’t take much to make me happy
I ain’t a picky man
like to travel and like New York City
and going out to diners whenever we can

I don’t know why it’s been so hard
I don’t know why you think I’m a troubled soul
I’ll do your dishes and I’ll clean your carpet
if you just hold my hand till we get old

it don’t take much to put a smile on my face
I’m a simple guy
just like dive bars and old blues juke boxes
and long walks, Tom Waits, baseball, beards, podcasting, comedy, album making, bad clothes, movie collecting, honesty, dancing and a good meat pie!

I don’t know why it’s been so hard
the reasons are probably many
but I will entertain your friends and cut my toenails in the bathroom
if you wrap your arms around me on the staten island ferry
Track Name: Again
Marty broke his promise over your head
better meet up for drinks instead
the service is good and the atmosphere is rare
but it’s small and you stand out, when you’re in there

and I don’t think I will be running home again

Now he’s in the village and he’s night time bound
another hero died today and we lost another sound
there’s a nip in this new york air, so rub your hands together
one more rejection on the corner, it’ll get worse before it gets better

and I don’t think I will be standing here again

and in this cold water
they are splashing about
as if someone turned the lights out
and in the darkness
there’s nothing to do
but to keep on holding on to you

down in the subway there’s a delicate balance
the sinister the smart and the silly are accepting the challenge
and in the wings the stage hand screams silently
when everything’s gone but the world carries on, don’t come crying to me

and I don’t think I want to hear from you again

and up in space
the vehicles sing a song
as if someone turned the lights on
and on this bright morning
there’s nothing to do
but breathe in and start the day brand new
Track Name: Bringing the Company Down
with your long hair
and your big beard
you’re bringing the company down boy
you’re bringing the company down
with your opinions
and your attitude
you’re bringing the company down boy
you’re bringing the company down

We need a team player
We need a taste maker
someone who tows the line
We need a good faker

with your cheap clothes
and your big nose
you’re bringing the company down boy
you’re bringing the company down
with your logical ideas
and lack of fear
you’re bringing the company down boy
you’re bringing the company down

We need a non thinker
We need a yes man
someone who keeps their mouth shut
we need a meeting plan

Company men don’t grow on trees
They got weak chins and weaker knees
their tie matches exactly with their shirt
they’ll step on your neck while their dishing the dirt
and we’re so sorry boy that just ain’t you
you bring this company down with all the things you do Boy
Track Name: Just Like Them
They say no news is good news
well we haven’t had news now for years
all we’ve got is the jowly and the ignorant
trying to further their million dollar careers

I knew a man he moved to Indiana
to open up a pet store on the outskirts of town
his wife and children left him, taking his favourite plates
but that man I knew he never wore a frown
He really likes pets

and I wish I could be just like him
yeah I wish I could be just like him

Old Binkie Muffins ran racket for the greeks
got them free tennis equipment in exchange for food
he’s dead now and they still smash crockery at his grave side
and it always puts them all in a good mood
they hate crockery

and I wish we could all be like them
Yeah I wish we could all be like them

but the water’s slowly rising
all the animals are dying
we should be eating vegetables
but we’re all deep fat frying
but honestly that tastes better
and I’ll be dead long before it gets too bad
so shut up your wining and eat a big fat cake
that will never ever make you feel sad

I knew a lady she had lots of hats to wear
and could never choose which one to put on
then she lost them all in a fire and decided to travel the world
she didn’t even care any more that they were gone
It freed her up to go travelling

and I wish we could all be just liker her
Yeah I wish I could be just like her
Track Name: Thank You
I couldn’t have done it without you
Thank You Thank You
I couldn’t have done it without you all by my side
The hardest thing I’ve ever done I couldn’t so alone
it’s been one hell of a ride

So now if you ever need some help at all
You don’t have to go far to find me
whatever it is well you know who to call
we’ll find a solution wait and see…

Thank You Thank You Thank You

Yeah thank you very much
you bloody great bunch of folks
you saved this poor old urchin
every time he needed
and cheered him up with your dirty jokes

ahhh Thank you thank you thank you
I don’t know what to say
but my great old aunty nora’s really chuffed
she thought she’d have to take me in
and feed me every day
but she’s thankful because her offer was a bluff

My old uncle ken
he’s never had a friend
he likes to keep weasels in his pants
and when those weasels nibble
on the end of his how’s your father
it makes my uncle kenny do a dance

it’s the dance I do right now
to thank you very much
to tell you that you’ve all been really great
so never suffer alone, I am always here
to help share whatever’s on your plate
Me ol China!