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Gwyneth Paltrow's Dog Psychic presents "Avocado Night Lantern"

by Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures

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1.
Crisp clear evening Lake dancing on the right Matching all the purpose in your memory We must be leaving We’re exhausted every night And no one needs to see what becomes of me This humour’s fleeting Nail down the time to fight When solitude becomes a form of flattery A miss heard greeting Let’s all just keep it light Aren’t you all full up from all this battery I remember when When questions were mistreated Exchanges overheated No tricks left untried I remember when When your hand met her shoulder When your heart was all you told her When love was simply that she replied Ignore the heat that’s rising You understand the flight Amidst the endless clatter of the enemy Reaction is not surprising There’s nothing there despite them Hanging on each message that you send to me I remember when When challenges were accepted And distances rejected And time was mine to bide I remember when Your actions quickly vanished Insecurities were banished And love was the only thing on your side And we’ve got nowhere to hide And love is the only thing on our side x 4
2.
I’m coming back From the edge of a memory Ten feet tall Take on any enemy Make good choices Embrace the calamity I’m moving on From the fall of society Foraging for the future Forgetting what might have been Break it all up and Put it back together again I’m coming back Look for me soon in the headlights Look for me soon, brave and undeniable No longer quantifiable You’ll see me trying with all of my might I’m coming back I’m coming back Clowns and jokers they don’t bother me Each day complete chores To improve all your property Can’t put stock in your Phoney astrology I’m moving on If you want to help feel free to pitch in If you can’t stand the heat Then get out of the kitchen If you’re feeling threadbare Let us put a stitch in
3.
Be The First 03:42
Open the door Let the sun in Don’t be distracted By the residual from the run in Expect to deal With one or two unwelcome moochers make your choices based On any number of uncertain futures When the stain looks like it’s painful and it’s permanent Don’t hesitate to claim it’s someone else’s ornament When the crowds gather round the same barrel Change your name, change locations, change apparel I will see you when I see you Tap me when players hit their stride It’s the questions that will kill you at the half way point It’s ok to tell the carnival to stop the ride Find somewhere to hide Ignore every clock No matter how it’s amplified Stop short of using phrases that will irritate Don’t pin every last hope on a hasty blind date Lift the instruments until they all connect just so But don’t let those same instruments dictate where you can go I will see you when I see you Tap me when monsters are dispersed It’s all the details that will kill you at a certain point It’s ok to tell the actors that they are way over rehearsed Find somewhere that’s cursed Prove it’s safe Be the first
4.
Last Days 04:19
There you are In your neck of the woods Trading your service for goods Braving the onslaught Unlearning all you’ve been taught In the ravishes of the old ways In the throws of the last days There you are Claiming they’re out to get you Trading your soul for a shoe Revisiting the document And all those outraged words you sent In pursuit of the latest craze In the throws of the last days No desert and no sun No Italians on the run No futuristic gun The question what have we done The network knows it doesn’t play In throws of the last days There you are Hiding in the comfort of the corner Drowning with the signal mourner With no way out of this Adding to the list of things you miss Not believing anything anybody says In the throws of the last days No writing defeats the mindset Nobody else just what can I get Nothing to remember or regret After midnight just don’t get it wet It takes a certain kind to show you what the con pays In the throws of the last days
5.
You can’t get comfortable There’s metal in the way I want to lift you up my darling With luck and magic With luck and magic These weeks without the earth I want to remove that slice of air Between you and the Luck and magic darling You’re my luck and magic Between the notes Between your toes Between the silence And all that grows Around you All that grows Around you I know I’ve grown Around you We roll with the missteps Sometimes to the detriment of getting things just so Let’s lie under the stars counting Our luck and magic darling It’s all luck and magic A lack of a stride but no lack of time And you’re with me wherever I go Followed closely by Our luck and magic darling all our luck and magic The touch of your arm The touch of the blows The touched smudged surface And all that grows Around you All that grows Around you I know I’ve grown Around you
6.
There was a moment When you could never go back A moment you missed while Trying to pack it all in and every piece of advice One step too far Your under your own steam now You’ve raised your own bar so well You can You can You can stay here Yes you can You’re in the clear There was a time when you Would not have stood firm When teachers and traitors Refuse to live and to learn from you Where escape was just writing It all down in the dirt Behaviour like accents expected never to dessert you I’m uncoordinated I’m feeling too elated I’ve run towards you and all it brings I’ve discovered wondrous things Tend to the garden Wade into the brush Find the quiet places Thick green and lush for now Maybe the motivation Will all come flooding back Temporarily wounded but Still sharp as a tack
7.
She knows what she wants But does she know what it cost This planet might help to find you Or it might help you get lost I’ll take it but fully renovated I’ll take it if it’s not too complicated She’s got the answers written down somewhere But are there possibilities in the storm? They like it when it’s worn to wear It no longer exists where you are from Getting older from the upright view Is just something other people do You can’t admit it’s not the same Every year you lose a lot Some signal through the base boards Might be all you got Reach back as far as numbers let you The whole planet is insane The creaks and murmurs in the woodwork Hidden messages stretched out inside the grain She’s got in outlined in different colours But down here that’s not what we can see In late moments all things quietly discovered One more drop, one more second till you flea Fingers crossed it’s fully renovated If it’s not do all you can to see we all get compensated
8.
Gateway Drug 03:48
You found your gateway drug Now take it and good luck The rest of us are outta here We’ve done so much and paid so dear And there is nothing Nothing that I want to explain So you’re going around again You found your gateway drug You just need a little hug We wrote our letters and you cut the earth Now it’s all playing out in reverse And it may be over Over before we all got a turn While we stand around and watch it burn A drop in the ocean Paddling for all that it’s worth You gave up on most emotion Refusing to acknowledge the birth But now the time has come you should switch off and unplug But you’ve found your gateway drug Missing the signs just follow along Witness all the places that you’re getting it wrong Think of all the bodies in the trenches that you’ve dug Getting nothing but a hit off that gateway drug You found your gateway drug Leave it to you to fuck everything up The rest of us are sewing parachutes
You’ve bitten off everything there was left to chew And you’ll go hungry Hungry and afraid of it all With no one to answer the call And there is nothing Nothing that I want to explain So you’re going around again And it may be over Over before we all got a turn While we stand around and watch it burn

9.
I don’t think you want to know Who I am and what I have to show for it and that’s ok, I’ve gone away You’re off the hook I’ve read your book And I have nothing left to say Riding high Hold the reigns Clear blue eye Cars and trains Limbs and claws Pins and needles There’s the message And here’s the easel You’ve been to where they’ve turned their back, you’ve broken ranks, picked up the slack and gone for it That’s been the lessons too late learned once departed down or open hearted left with everything you’ve earned Travelling light Hold your gaze Love the night Fear the days Grab the moments Spit out the pips Don’t let their name Pass your lips It’s your turn Feed the meter Be the blanket Not the heater Wreck the engine Clean the treads Untangle each and every thread
10.
Battle Scars 03:21
You wear your battle scars Like a badge of honour Telling stories, leaning into the bar One more inch and you’d have been a gonna Some tails bear repeating Most of them don’t Throw them away you don’t need them anymore I promise you you won’t Throw them away Throw them away You don’t need them anymore But maybe they’ll need you back someday No matter what the papers say They’re part of the old way You wear your fandom Proudly on your arm Nothing you execute is random arbiter of all that extra charm Some heroes won’t disappoint you Most of them will Through them away you don’t need them anymore Someone else can pay that bill You cling to an eroding fiction Every day when you awake Whispers at the collection An unraveling mistake Some clues may point to answers Most of them come up short Throw them away you don’t need them any more Along with all the lies you bought
11.
Over here All by myself Looking for a place to stay When the bands in town Throw your voice On to the bed Let’s get those windows up And let’s get down Under here Poking holes Looking for the light to stay At the moment when all else fails Take my hand Ignore what was said Let’s be the only ones Not chasing our tails We could all use a little melancholy hope We could use something we can keep Expectations sold off long ago Dreams are for while you’re asleep Tell me when you first experienced this On this trail so long and steep Write down the lyrics you remember Read em and weep Still here Still kickin’ Looking for a parking space In this one horse town Over here All by ourselves Waving at the visitors who only show up When the bands in town Stay young Stay young and bold and true We’ve got places to be and You’ve got work to do As if you haven’t worked enough As if all you do wasn’t work As if all you did didn’t work As if as if as if That’s all you’re going through
12.
After the end It will all be fragmented After the end See clear through the demented After the end Everything will be rented After the end You said it and you meant it Disappointed on the outskirts There was time for recognition Now we’re shovelling the same old dirt Exhausted in confusion We’ve come too far to end in the same position After the end You’ll fumble and you’ll flounder After the end Your heart will be a pounder After the end Some voices should be louder After the end Except the ones that now surround her Reconciled and moving forward In the gaps between the anger feeling lonely and awkward Someone else absconded with the answer No one is keeping count Of all the ones you slaughtered

After the end When there’s nothing left to spend When there’s nowhere you can send Anything that would contend With all the things around the bend After the end After the end No peace, no quiet After the end You’ve exhausted every diet After the end All communication ends in a riot After the end If you don’t have it now, you can’t buy it
13.
Don’t try to drag me To the top of that hill You’re all going to die up there The views you see From the top May truly kill But with all of you I do despair There is no end in sight Does it really get you through the night None of this quite all right When you think about it Don’t tell me all of these New ideas They were old before you hit the ground You were born into a handful of pre-determined fears You should really keep us around But there’s no reason you think to listen You are certain in your position You’ve gone and made the decision You just didn’t think about it And everyone wants to be the one To save the day And we will watch from our periphery As that slowly fades away I was there a while back now We all had things to say And we still do But we gave the floor to you It’s not the car, it’s the distance, it’s the route and it’s the driver And they’ve turned off the gps You’ll realise everyone in here is a reluctant survivor Just trying to clean up their mess And it all goes round and round Refuse the words but jump at every sound To this future you are not bound If you think about it
14.
It’s how you mend The strings inside his heart Delicate but strong When after hours and hours they just simply came apart He stops short from the reason for the questions He realised it doesn’t matter It’s not the journeys it’s the last On his list of destinations It’s the end when you’re tuning up the night Carrying the bricks you build Around the home you tend to oh so well Cleaning up after the fight When curiosity and chaos align When he’s already turned the corner And there’s nothing different there He just falters every time You may be surprised If everything came spilling out Or it might be quite expected You might not be in any doubt And he may jump if pushed a little more Or he may stay standing on the edge Find his footing on the floor And he might make sure he does everything there is To keep your hand in his Does it work when the pieces get attention When figures in the distance have gone behind the clouds and your decisions are barely worth a mention When he mends The strings inside your heart Delicate but strong and after hours and hours you know they’ll never come apart
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
It's so good to learn that right outside your window There's only friendly fields and open roads And you'll sleep better when you think you've stepped back from the brink And found some peace inside yourself, lay down your heavy load It gets alright To dream at night Believe in solid skies and slate blue earth below But when you see Him, you'll know It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward There's no fear of shadows spreading where you stand And you'll breathe easier just knowing that the worst is all behind you And the waves that tossed the raft all night have set you on dry land It gets okay To praise the day Believe in sheltering skies and stable earth beneath But hear His breath come through His teeth Walk by faith Tell no one what you've seen It's so good to learn that from right here the view goes on forever And you'll never want for comfort, and you'll never be alone See the sunset turning red, let all be quiet in your head And look about, all the stars are coming out They shine like steel swords Wish me well, where I go But when you see me, you'll know

about

Well, hello again...

I am claiming this is a 1970s Kinks style concept album celebrating the happiness and acceptance of the Gen Xer in middle age which blends rock, folk, singer-songwriter, synthwave, pop, alternative and experimental - with a focus on lyrics and catchy melodies - too much?

Some of the songs on this album I have been sitting on for over a year and, if you know anything about the way I release my music, that's weird for me and a long time! The reason was this album was intended to be a "proper" full band, contributor album in the vein of Former Glory, Where Our Hearts Can Be A Shambles, Truer Crime and I've Been There etc.

As it is, it's sort of still that but it's also partly a solo album too. 6 of one and half a dozen of the other as the old saying goes. This is because the rest of the songs were from a batch I have written in the last 6 months that I just felt fit nicely alongside the few that I already had. That's my rationale and I am sticking to it.

A combination of covid, jobs, other commitments etc. meant that contributions were not as quick or plentiful as they had been in the past but we still have some phenomenal contributions on this album which, as always, elevate it well beyond what I could ever achieve on my own. To be amongst The Fixtures again is always an absolute musical pleasure.

In terms of subject matter, I realise, always with hindsight, that the album is a joyous celebration of middle age, generation X, settling down, embracing the journey, accepting the passage of time and past achievements, finding your own corner of a turbulent world, togetherness & love but, as with all things I do, with a healthy dose of cynicism and a smattering of humour.

The title comes from a joke that Jim Wallace and myself made on The After Movie Diner Podcast many years ago and while I am sure some people will think "well that's just a silly name, what does it even mean? how can that be a good album?" I urge you to look around a realise almost all band names and album names are "silly" and also realise that if you're the sort of person who asks those sorts of questions, we're happy for you to sit this one out.

The rest of you, who love silly, loud, brash rock songs, weird synthy foot stompers and the occasional piano ballad... please enjoy and thanks, as always, for your support!

ALSO WITH EVERY PURCHASE OF THIS ALBUM YOU'LL GET 6 BONUS TRACKS!

credits

released November 4, 2022

All songs written, recorded, mixed and produced by Jon Cross and Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures.

except:
Luck and Magic and Fully Renovated - Jonny & the Kid Remix - Produced and mixed by Jonny Cole of Jonny & the Kid and Jon Cross.

Fully Renovated and Fully Renovated - Alternate Version - Produced and mixed by Greg Singh of SINGH and Jon Cross.

After The End - Produced and mixed by Gary Hornseth and Mitch Armbruster of Trademark Issues and Jon Cross.

Gateway Drug - Written, produced and mixed by Mitch Armbruster of Trademark Issues and Jon Cross.

Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures are:
Hilde Heynickx - Vocals
Jonny Cole - Piano, vocals, synth & remixes
Greg Singh - Guitar, bass, synth &, drum mixing
Johnny Unicorn - Electric Guitar
Mitch Armbruster - Trumpet, vocals, electric guitar & bass
Tom Scalzo - Synths

All other vocals and music performed by Jon Cross

copyright Om/No Productions Music 2022

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Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures New Milford, Connecticut

Songwriting and banging your instruments together

The main thing I love to do is write songs. I pick up various instruments from ukulele to piano, accordion to percussion and electric guitar to harmonica and bang them about to try and get close to the noises I hear in my head but the writing comes first. ... more

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