Badtime Banjolele (Special Edition)

by Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures



"10 VERY jolly songs about REALLY painful shit."

This year the plan is to release as many 10 track themed albums as possible. So we had the Weekend Album written and recorded in a weekend, The Pleasencing! all about Donald Pleasence and now Badtime Banjolele

This album started off simply as the idea:
“what if I just do an album, 10 tracks, written and performed only on the banjolele?"
It seemed like something of a fun challenge for me.
Well what emerged was something that I personally consider, with no hint of ego or hyperbole, some of my best stuff.

I am so happy with the songs on here, in fact, that I am releasing this “Special Edition” version of the album with 6 song demos and a whole extra bonus track.

The name of the album started as a joke. The idea was that I would call it Bedtime Banjolele because there’s nothing sexy about a banjo uke and then that became Badtime Banjolele just because I liked the connotation of that and it sounded a bit like Ragtime. As the songs emerged, though, the title just seemed more and more appropriate!

I really really hope you love the album too and spread it around, share it, talk about it but most of all listen to it! listen to it as much as possible!
Thank you so much for all your support


released July 8, 2015

Written, performed and produced by Jon Cross of Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures.

Copyright Om/No Productions Music 2015



all rights reserved
Track Name: All Your Seasons Change
So we tried tried tried so much
But you lied lied lied so much more
I was the only one not smiling when the dust blew through
after you put the pedal to the floor

So you pick pick pick through what you’ve got left
and you stick stick stick to what you know works
and slowly things reform and trees grow tall
but somewhere in the shade of those branches the spare pieces lurk

and all your seasons change
in just one day
and you know you should just pick one
but you’ve lost the words you want to say
and when the penny lands heads up
or the blossoms turn to green
your fingers crossed that’s it for now
and there’s only your conscience left to clean

now you’re back back back on your feet
but how long long long do you think that will last
and you’re dipping a toe and you hope that you will grow
if you could unhook the trailer off the past

and all your feelings change
in just one moment
and you know you could just leave
but something tells you to stay
and when the bus has turned the corner
and the tunnel found its light
you hope to miss further bumps in the road
and if you don't you hope you’ll hold on tight
Track Name: Resilient Misfits
I’m a sucker for a rainy summer day
I’m a sucker for a red head
I’m the one who can’t let a bad thing go
I’m kicking the dead

We are the resilient misfits
clawing at the girders of the over head train
We’re not in this
just because
there is something to gain

I’m stamping my feat
burning the beat
turning the cheek

You think you’re clever
but I will still deliver
at the end of my tether

Everyone running, sweating, working out
the rest of us want to sit and shout
please don’t do that on our account

You’ve got from now until the end of Don Maclean
to make your move
but you won’t move, you can’t move

I’m closing the gap
I’m taking my nap
I’m breaking my back

You think you’re better
but I don’t regret her
and one day I’ll forget her
Track Name: A Piece Of The Action
getting a piece of the action
is never a piece of cake
everything has an opposite and equal reaction
there’s no mistake
There was nothing I could have done
My heart was always going to break

clutching at straws even when
they’re all short
try to find comfort in everything
you bought
but you’re not what it says on the poster
and you’ve been caught

Highway road
East Arizona
I knew then
it was over
but something can’t finish
if you don’t let it start
it’s time to put the horse
before the cart

losing your will will always mean
you’re losing
always making a decision
when you should still be choosing
try to accept that things improve
but you just keep refusing

I know that there’ll be moments
and I know I’m not quiet there
and I know that I’ll put obstacles in our way
but you say you don’t care

Getting a piece of the action
is never a piece of cake
all my emotions are autumn leaves
and you the rake
you could handle the give but not the take

Highway road
in PA
I was in the car
you were on your way
there was nothing that I could say
that would make you stay
Track Name: White Old House
White old house
On a cul de sac
It doesn't always make an appearance
When I'm looking back
Fairly unremarkable
Fairly middle class
No particular memories to speak of
Just a place to watch time pass

Put in a new drive way,
extended out the side
kept the lawn nice and short
so we didn’t have to stay inside
shed tucked away in woodland
the old fruit tree off on its own
I am sure it would feel smaller now
I am fully grown

and there’s always going to be
a part of me there
a part I’ve left far behind
and if they find it in the corner of the attic
then I hope they wouldn’t mind
keep it safe till some point
I return
When curiosity
gets the better of me
and we can light it up
and watch it burn
and maybe then I’ll be free

The crazy neighbours
all cats and car part junk
the school near by
that made me scared to leave my bunk
the changing of the guard
the hiding in my room
the box that I called home
should never be exhumed
Track Name: The Man Who Couldn’t Die
The man who couldn’t die
is choking on his sandwich
driving home one handed
one eye on the road
sat beside him Deidree
she picks up his dry-cleaning
offers her assistance
despite her heavy load

and he’s not thinking
about her at that moment
he can afford to live life on the edge
but she’s not attached to her mortality
as much as he might think

The park is passing by them
the engine is snapping at the heals
of everyone in front
who will not live forever
and Deidree closes her eyes
and listens to the music
it was her choice to be sat here
living hell for leather

and he’s only thinking of himself
at that moment
because today’s like any other
he can see the direction he wants
to travel
and he knows she can’t go with him

and it will take her a while to get over him
despite the writing on the wall
because she’s always ageing
and he will never die
and their voices will be awkward
when she has to take his call
and he won’t bat an eyelid
when all she does is cry

The man who couldn’t die
100 years from now
finds himself alone
and drinking away his sorrows
his fool proof plan for the future
ignored in favour of a party
and the shallow hum of boring voices
that can’t share his tomorrows

and Diedree still remembered him
right up until her last
but also she had moved on
making so much of herself
and occasionally she wondered
if he was thinking of her
but chances are he wasn’t.
Track Name: A Noble Effort
Noble effort made to reach you
noble effort made for reason
I was always just too young
it was never the season

tried to do just what you wanted
failed time and time again
How to survive when you see so much potential
but you know it has to end

pretend pretend pretend
try and live a life that’s full
get all tied up into knots and don’t break free
when pretending takes its toll

part of me wishes you very well
another part of me hopes that everything goes wrong
part of me hopes we find the love that long alludes you
even as we fear that the time for that is gone

pretend pretend pretend
won’t help you grow
find that out quickly as you hurtle down the highway
leaving debris behind you as you go
Track Name: I Forget The Rest...
up where the woodlands meet the railway
down where the rails meet the Hudson’s edge
a spring time mist, a sunset sparkle on the river
my feet fall heavy on the clay
and I forget the rest…

and you and I will never be
again as long as I have breath
in me, it is just what it is
I won’t let you
be the death of me
and we will find a new path
eventually, and you will see
that although they might be
mostly in major key
not all songs end
la da la da la da la de

The sound of boots and stone and snow
on the blanket by the fireplace is best
the mountains, frozen lake, the winter morning’s glow
the steam rises high from off my skin
and I forget the rest…

no more I’ll hear your fake tee hee
as you attempt to humour me and
you don’t need to ever see
my failed attempts at revelry
that always left me wishing desperately
that I was somewhere out at sea
embracing someone else pleasantly
and we could sing the song that ends
la da la da la da la de

The reclining seats the holding hands
the beam, the hush the animated crest
the french restaurant under candle light
my hands shake too much to sign
and I forget the rest…

and maybe it’s a tragedy that neither of
us want to see and maybe if we didn’t flea
we’d find our place in history
but really dear it just can’t be
you only bring me misery and
I bring you the same I see
there’ll be no ring so I won’t sing
la da la da la da la de
Track Name: California Sand
Dancing with the one armed nurse
Underneath a string of lights
Out the back of a lean to take out
Just another of one too many nights

Take the Pontiac out to San Clemente
You've got friends out on Dana point
Get all torn up on rum and cheap Chinese
Make some coin in an old pool joint

Fill your shoes up
With California sand
Before the rains come
Before your last stand
Fill your pockets
With California air
You may not love me anymore
But I don't care

Let the Pacific sun set
On the hood of this once proud car
I will fall asleep here counting the waves
Up against this bamboo beach bar

Maybe I'll head up the coast some time
Find some shade amongst the red wood trees
Or stumble my way down to the point Reyes lighthouse
And salt my hair and cheeks with the sea breeze

Fill your hat up
With California leaves
You may have found the cure
But not the disease
Fill your heart up
Take a California Dare
You may not love me anymore
But I don't care

Fill your pocket
With California air
You may not love me anymore
But I don't care
Track Name: Goods To Be Had
They pull up the truck
there’s goods to be had
thinking no one with that many toasters
could be that bad
and they clean him out of house and home
and even now he’s got nothing
they don’t leave him alone

it goes all around his small home town
the system he’d served all his life
had let him down
He couldn’t escape he couldn’t break free
they found his body swinging from a sycamore tree

and no one batted an eye
everyone has their time to die
sure it’s sad and sure some wept
but there weren’t many from
the company he kept
they couldn’t bring themselves to mourn
most of them all filled with scorn
he’d hoped his early death had meaning
but no one wants to know where the future’s leading
Track Name: When You Come Along
I’ve been down
I’ve been beat
I’ve been left lonely
at the end of the street
I’ve seen this city
at every hour of the night
I’ve been so close to
giving up the fight

and in part at least I’ve been to blame
but next time it won’t be the same

I’ve been belittled
I’ve been reduced
I’ve been made to feel
I don’t have any use
My self-esteem
torn to shreds
love was just a word
to be said

and clearly I’m no good at this game
but next time it won’t be the same

You’ll understand me
I wont’t believe it
you’ll hold out your hand
and I’ll receive it
as it goes on
we won’t believe our luck
and neither of us
need to ever be in the wrong
when you come along

I’ve been troubled
I’ve been a mess
but if you know me
you know I’ll try my best
I’ve been lost
I know you’ll find me
Once again I’ll leave it all
far behind me

but next time I will feel the change
and it will be so different, beautiful and strange

We’ll say the right things
You’ll have the looks
our first kiss will be
one for the books
We’ll redefine it all
and never run too fast
and it won’t matter that it took so very long
for you to come along

You’ll let me be sad
We’ll hear each other out
there’ll be a safety
there’ll be no doubt
Each time I’ll see you
will be better than the last
and there’ll be no catch
we’ll be where we both belong
When you come along
Track Name: No Matter How Small (Bonus Track)
you can’t hear the shot heard
around the world no more
there’s too many things at once
we’re all meant to hear
and even when we see it
with our own two eyes
that there’s too many lies
we’re just paralysed by fear

there’s marching there’s shouting
the streets are in flame
and no one’s budging an inch
We take any victory
no matter how small
and nothing it seems is
keeping us quiet like it used to do
and we’re all taking pictures
waiting for rome to fall

I’m scratching my head
how can this be
nobody around here
is different to me
we all need the air
we all take tea
the past is not sacred
your traditions are learned
Take a deep breath
before you all get burned

your intolerance makes no sense
your anger and hate doesn’t it
grind you down?
did no one teach you to share
when you were small?
and you’re clutching that book
your knuckles all white
your red face has misread all the meaning
just be concerned with yourself, what others are doing
is not your call

It’s overwhelming
a relentless sea
staining the shore
red as can be
and everyone says
hey don’t look at me
You’re already preaching to
your choir
not every thought your selling
should have a buyer